The gift list is often one of much debate in wedding world. Is it bad to ask for gifts? But if you don’t ask do you risk getting lots of items you don’t want when people feel obliged to give anyway? Can you ask for money and, if so, how can you possibly phrase that politely? Is there perhaps an alternative that you haven’t even thought of?
Personally, I think the thought of asking for gifts would make me feel a bit cheeky. Although it has pretty much become a given that guests at weddings buy gifts I do still believe it would be nicer if this wasn’t the case. That brides and grooms were genuinely touched and surprised to get a gift lovingly hand-picked for them rather than wait for guests to buy all the items on a list they’ve compiled.
On the other hand, the majority of guests do want to buy gifts and perhaps you’re making it easier on them by giving them a list to pick from!
The choice to include a gift list with the invites, or instead to leave a message with the parents for those that insist on buying a gift, is a personal one but either way I thought I’d try and come up with 10 ideas for the list, some obvious, some perhaps not so obvious…
1. Homeware store
One of the most common routes to go down is setting up a gift list with a shop such as John Lewis or Debenhams. This is great for the few couples that haven’t lived together for that long (or at all!) prior to their marriage and still need the essential homewares these types of shops offer. As you have a gift list to fill, however, you could well end up putting those unnecesary, use-once-and-then-put-in-a-dark-cupboard-never-to-see-the-light-of-day-again type objects on just for the sake of filling it up. I’d have to have a good think about whether I really needed all those homewares before going down this route! If you decide you want such items but would rather pick from different stores then services such as Presentwise and The Gift List Company allow you to do this.
2. Honeymoon
If your house has everything it needs and you’d rather treat yourself to a luxury holiday then asking guests to contribute to the honeymoon would mean your first trip as a newly married couple could be an amazing one! Companies such as Turquoise allow guests to either contribute cash to your honeymoon or select from experiences pre-determined by the couple, such as a massage or quad-biking!
3. Money
Perhaps the hardest to ask for! Most tend to go with a cheeky poem such as this:
Because at first we lived in sin
We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you would be swell
But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!
If this still makes you feel uncomfortable I’d leave this one to the parents to deal with! If there is no mention of a gift list most guests will ask them and they could just casually suggest the money option.
4. Art
Companies such as Scotland Art and Artery Gallery offer gift lists that allow guests to contribute to a piece of artwork of your choice. I rather like this idea as it is just one item so no chance of it cluttering up the house! Pick a statement painting and it can have pride of place in your home as a reminder of your special day and all the loved ones you shared it with.
5. Charity
Another great idea and one I wrote about in this post on Oxfam Unwrapped. If you really don’t want for anything but want your guests to feel satisfied that they gave you a gift then this is the way to do it. Lots of charities, such as Cancer Research and the NSPCC offer options to set up an online page where guests can contribute. Alternatively, pick any charity of your choice and put a note with your invites stating that contributions are welcome for you to pass on to your chosen charity. The chance to help others long after your special day is definitely a great idea for your wedding gifts.
6. Interior design
If you want to create the perfect home for your newly married life but need some help, then companies such as Beyond Weddings are perfect. Set up by Chelsea Bidwill there are 3 services all involving a visit from Chelsea to give her an idea of your home and what design elements will enhance it. Lists can feature decorative items to buy or interior work such as reupholstering chairs, fitting a carpet or renovating the bathroom. You could ask for money and put it towards something like this but this way you get an interior specialist’s help and I think many guests like to know what they’ve bought you. Alternatively if you’re happy designing your house yourself and would just like help with the DIY costs, vouchers for a hardware store such as B&Q would come in handy.
7. Gardening
If your house is just the way you want it but the garden’s looking a bit shabby then get a garden makeover for your gift! The Wedding Garden Company offer lists that allow you to choose garden items yourself or alternatively they can visit you to discuss a few ideas or even a full garden redesign. And if you can’t decide between homewares, interior design or sprucing up your garden then a company such as Bottom Drawer is for you as they allow you to put anything on your list!
8. Wine
For wine drinkers why not have enough to fill a cellar waiting for you on return from your honeymoon? Those at The Wine Wedding List can help you compile ideas for wines from all over the world and at different price levels to suit different guests’ budgets. A nice touch is that every bottle bought is hand labelled with the guest’s name that bought it for you so you can drunkenly thank them after you’ve enjoyed it!
9. Books
The last two are my favourite ideas as, to me, they are what gifts should be about: they allow the guest the freedom to choose themselves and a chance for them to be creative, a great combo! I absolutely love books. So much so that one day I dream of a library in my house like the one in Disney’s Beauty & the Beast with the ladder to access all the many books! This list is simple, ask the guest to buy you their favourite book, fiction or non-fiction. This way you’ll end up with a really unusual and interesting collection of books that will remind you of your guests and most likely offer up reading oppportunities you’d never have explored otherwise. You could take this one step further by including with your invites a sticker for them to include in the front of their book allowing them to add their name and a message for you.
10. Romance
The most creative option! Ask guests to contribute to your romance. Leaving it quite open means they can have fun deciding in what way they want to do that. Whether they choose tickets for the theatre, a voucher for a meal out, a set of gorgeous candles for the home or a book of love poems you’ll hopefully get a whole bunch of weird and wonderful gifts out of this one!
Awesome image courtesy of Jen Chan
If anybody can think of alternatives to the usual gift lists then please let me know. I’d love to hear your ideas!
Debs
